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The Fifth Step in Leaving Law Behind — Get Out There

by Casey on May 10, 2013

This article originally appeared on Above the Law.

As we discussed in the first four articles of this series, through Leave Law Behind, I work with many intelligent attorneys who nonetheless are unhappy and want to leave the law behind and do something else. They want to change their life and their work and their focus with the goal to be more satisfied, more confident and happier.

I tell them the first step in leaving the law behind involves getting a handle on their money situation; to become as confident and exact as possible in understanding (i) their expenses, as well as any (ii) safety net and other sources of financial support they can call upon if needed.

The second step in leaving law behind is about not letting our past undermine our future. More specifically, this step involves resolving any lingering demons law school may hold over your head (squeezing out more of an ROI from my law school “investment”, ensuring my identity is tied to being an attorney, what else would I do if I’m not a lawyer, etc.) that prevents you from moving forward with positive change in your life.

The third step in leaving law behind involves focusing on exploring yourUnique Genius. Your Unique Genius is made up of those skills and strengths that come so naturally to you, so effortlessly to you, that you don’t even think of them as a skill. It is upon these skills that you do so well that you will begin to base your post-lawyer life and career. It is with these strengths at which you excel that you will begin to create a life of confidence and self-worth.

The fourth step is all about facing your fears. You can plan as much as you’d like, disconnect from law school and be as self analytical as you want. But nothing will happen, you will never be able to create a new life for yourself unless you face down and begin to manage your fears.

The fifth step? Of course properly leaving the law requires careful planning and courageous self-analysis. It takes a lot of soul searching and internal and external discussions and personal due diligence. But there comes a point when you just need to execute. You just need to get out there. It takes time and patience and courage, but you just need to hit the pavement and begin meeting with people. That is the Fifth Step.

Getting out there can come in many different variations, but it really means reaching out and meeting with other people in order to build sincere connections of trust so these people will help you find opportunities.

Of course, you can apply to jobs online, or get a recruiter to help you. But the purpose of leaving law behind is not just to find another job. The goal of leaving law behind is to create a new stage in your life that makes you the money you need while allowing you the schedule you want. The point of leaving law behind is to find an opportunity you love, so you don’t grow older and regret that you did something wrong. The goal of leaving law behind is to find a career that makes you a lot of money and is also in alignment with your strengths and skills and goals. The goal of leaving law behind is to find a job that makes you feel strong and creates more and more energy, as opposed to sapping you of your vigor.

And one of the best ways to do that is to speak to as many people as you can, in person (say over coffee) for a good amount of time (at least thirty minutes) with a warm lead (through someone you know) with someone who is qualified (they are in a field or have some connection to a field that you think would be a good fit with your Unique Genius).

And the output of these meetings is twofold: To research this person’s life and work – these people (who may not all be lawyers) actually do something you think you may be interested in (business development, marketing, product management, HR, Operations, compliance, technology, investment banking). You want to ask them about their life, what they like, what they don’t, how they like their work life balance, what is the money potential, etc. Instead of ruminating on other jobs in theory, actually use this coffee as a time to gain intelligence about these jobs. You may think you’d like it … but take the time to hear it now from the source.

And second, you want to get some leads. If you like what you hear, then at the end of the conversation (or later via e-mail), see if this person can provide you with the names and contact info of other people who might be beneficial for you to meet. In their industry or elsewhere. The best way to find that right opportunity is to find it through someone you may know or are referred to. And the best way to find that someone is through a friend you are close with.

Easy right? No. But definitely possible.

For those of us who are introverts, lack confidence, feel we have a puny network, don’t know many people, feel we’re worthless, etc., this can be difficult. So, as with everything we do at leave law behind, let’s take it step-by-step.

The first step in getting out there is to begin researching online, probing into your extended network, or checking out LinkedIn, and find someone, anyone, who you think you would like to learn more about and with whom you may or may not be connected. To make this first step easy, start by checking the networks of your friends and colleagues and see if there is anyone in their network you may be interested in meeting.

As a second step, once you have a good idea of who you want to reach out to, email your friend (i.e. your shared connection with this person you want to meet). The goal is to have your friend make an intro, if possible. And to make this easy for you, here’s a sample email you could use in reaching out to your friend who may have a connection with these desired contacts – it’s short and sweet and respects how busy and short of time your friend may be.

Dear NAME OF YOUR FRIEND/CONTACT

I hope you are well. Between you and me, I’m working on expanding my network and exploring some new opportunities, within law and beyond. I noticed some interesting people you’re connected with on LinkedIn – can I send over a few names to see if you’d feel comfortable making an introduction for me?

What do you think?

Thanks
YOUR NAME

As Ramit Sethi says, this is a “pre-commitment” strategy – a short email, that doesn’t take long for your friend to read, doesn’t take too much time out of his or her day to review, and most often will result in a higher response rate. (And don’t just send to one friend – send to a number of them, increasing your chances of a response.) If he or she says yes, then you can follow up with a longer email with more detail, like:

Dear NAME OF FRIEND

Thanks so much for your offer to help. As I mentioned, between you and me, I am beginning to explore some new career paths, within law and beyond. I am just beginning the process and exploring what’s out there and I wanted to reach out to you and ask for your help.

I noticed you are connected to NAME OF PERSON YOU WANT TO GET COFFEE WITH. Are you close with NAME OF PERSON? Would you feel comfortable introducing me to NAME OF PERSON? I am very interested in NAME OF PERSON’s space and would like to learn more about what he does. To be clear, I am not searching for a job – just beginning my research on other career opportunities.

If you feel uncomfortable at all in introducing me at all to NAME OF PERSON, I completely understand, and no offense at all. I respect that.

But if you wouldn’t mind introducing me, I would greatly appreciate it. As I know you are busy, I can send you a short blurb that you can then copy and paste into an email to NAME OF PERSON.

Thanks
YOUR NAME

Your friend will hopefully make an intro, via email, and then you can reply to your friend and the person you want to meet with something like:

Hi NAME OF FRIEND, thank you very much for the email.

Hi NEW CONTACT, very nice to meet you over email. I am beginning to explore some new career paths, within law and beyond, and NAME OF FRIEND thought it might be good for me to hear more about your experience and what you do.

I know you are very busy, so would a thirty minute coffee or a quick chat at your office work for you. How about 10am on such and such date?

Thanks
YOUR NAME

And Remember: You’ll face some no-responses, or some rejections. That’s okay. Baby step after baby step.

This fifth step in leaving law behind provides an easy to follow, step-by-step, warm way to meet new people in order to find an opportunity that meets with your Unique Genius. Networking requires us to get over our aversion to meeting people and it takes a lot of hard work. But it allows you also to put the hypothetical into play.

You’d be surprised how much help you can get once you get out there. As Woody Allen points out, 90% of life is just showing up.

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The Fourth Step in Leaving Law Behind – Facing Your Fears

by Casey on April 26, 2013

This article originally appeared on Above the Law.

As we discussed in the first three articles of this series, through Leave Law Behind, I work with many intelligent attorneys who nonetheless are unhappy and want to leave the law behind and do something else. They want to change their life and their work and their focus with the goal to be more satisfied, more confident and happier.

I tell them the first step in leaving the law behind involves getting a handle on their money situation; to become as confident and exact as possible in understanding (i) their expenses, as well as any (ii) safety net and other sources of financial support they can call upon if needed.

The second step in leaving law behind is about not letting your past undermine your future. More specifically, this step involves resolving any lingering demons law school may hold over your head (squeezing out more of a ROI from my law school “investment”, ensuring my identity is tied to being an attorney, what else would I do if I’m not a lawyer, etc.) that prevents you from moving forward with positive change in your life.

The third step in leaving law behind involves focusing on exploring your Unique Genius. Your Unique Genius is made up of those skills and strengths that come so naturally to you, so effortlessly to you, that you don’t even think of them as a skill. It is upon these skills that you do so well that you will begin to base your post-lawyer life and career. It is with these strengths at which you excel that you will begin to create a life of confidence and self-worth.

The fourth step? Facing your fears. You can plan as much as you’d like, disconnect from law school and be as self-analytical as you want. But nothing will happen, you will never be able to create a new life for yourself unless you face down and begin to manage your fears of change and of leaving the law. This is a life-long process, of course, but as with anything, there are small, incremental steps you can take now to build up the courage, emotion and structure to face your fears and begin to leave law behind.

What are some of these fears that prevent us from creating change and leaving law behind? There are many:

1. I’m afraid that if I leave the law, I’ll be different than all of my attorney friends
2. I’m afraid I won’t be able to make as much money as I make now
3. I’m afraid that I cannot do anything different than the practice of law
4. I’m afraid I won’t be able to convince someone else to hire me
5. I’m afraid to tell my firm I want to leave
6. I’m afraid that I will fail
7. I’m afraid to take a risk
8. I’m afraid everyone will laugh at me
9. I’m afraid I’ll get my bar license stripped away
10. I’m afraid I won’t be able to say I’m really a lawyer anymore
11. I’m afraid I’ll have to find a new identity
12. I’m afraid it’ll takes a long time
13. I’m afraid I’ll have to face some difficult facts about myself
14. I’m afraid it won’t be easy
15. I’m afraid I will be ridiculed and doubted
16. I’m afraid I will make mistakes

And there are likely many more we could think of.

Now let’s be honest – I’m not sure you can ever get over many of your fears. A lot of the anxiety from these fears remains in our lives, or comes back to mess with us throughout a given week, or arises when stimulated by something, or is just something we will always have to deal with.

But some of these fears you can wrestle down and get over. And those fears that you can’t totally eliminate, you can at least manage them so they do not utterly prevent you from making change, and leaving law behind.

Here are nine steps and insights to get you started:

1. All of these fears are in, and come from, your own head. As Robert Brault said, “Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?” Unfortunately, you’re stuck with your head. But fortunately, you can now isolate the source of much of the insecurity.

2. And the cause of this anxiety is your “demon voice.” It’s this voice that feeds doubt, that takes shots at our self-confidence, that limits our growth. I’m not sure if this demon voice can ever be completely eradicated. And to make matters worse, it often sneaks up on us, and brings us down without any warning, confusing us and ruining our day or week. But it can be ignored and dealt with and minimized. Realize that what is actually bringing you down is just this little demon voice, and not anything endemic to you personally. It’s the voice, not you.

3. You have at your disposal the power of the baby step. While they take a while, and they are not sexy or glamorous and they may be boring to complete and they require patience and immediate results are hard to come by, the best way to chip at the fears blocking your path to leaving the law is to use the strength of the Baby Step.

By their nature, baby steps are easy to begin and fairly straightforward to complete. They can be fun. They build confidence. They let us dip our toe in, they let us warm-up, they let us proceed at a good pace. They can be fun, preparatory, and motivating, and will help position you to leave the law, all the while slowly mitigating the noxious effects of your fears. [For some easy baby steps to leave the law behind that you can begin right now, clickhere.]

4. What makes us afraid … makes other (non-attorneys) envious. So many attorneys feel that their skills can only be used to practice the law. The skills that we see as pigeonholing us from doing anything else, much of the rest of the world sees as great strengths.

We lawyers actually have many transferrable skills to other industries. When you think about what many good lawyers do (issue spot, solve problems, calm clients, meet deadlines, write persuasive material, upsell services, build morale, retain close customer contact, lead teams, distill complicated terms into simple language, help people …) which company/tech-firm/government department wouldn’t want someone who could do all of that, while being smart, disciplined and loyal?

A great way to get over our fear of the risk, embarrassment and lack-of-comfort-level that stands in our way from leaving law behind is to realize in no uncertain terms that you (yes, you, disgruntled, unhappy, dissatisfied, unmoored attorney) are kind of a bad-ass. And you have skills that are in demand.

5. Your identity may be dying for a change. A major obstacle to leaving the law is the (perceived) need to retain our identity as a lawyer. We often feel that we’ve worked so hard to be recognized as an attorney, we’ve worked so hard for our book of business, we’ve worked so hard to build our resume, that to leave the law would be akin to throwing our sense of self (and all the hard work that went into building it) down the drain.

And while it may not make sense to turn 180 degrees on a dime, repositioning who you are, and possibly calling yourself something else (a consultant, an advisor, an entrepreneur, a teacher, a volunteer, a Linchpin) in addition to an attorney may open up so many other opportunities.

And it also opens up the possibility to meeting so many other types of people who are (gasp) not attorneys. We lawyers can be very insular, and only hang out with our own kind. Repositioning your identity also helps reposition your network. And when you meet new people, you encounter new opportunities. And when you encounter new opportunities, you can possibly find a professional channel that aligns very well with your Unique Genius. And when you begin exploring a professional channel that aligns very well with your strengths and what you are good at and what you enjoy, you are on a solid path to fulfilling work. [Yes, that’s how it works]

6. You will fail and make mistakes. At first glance, that is horrible. We lawyers are trained and designed to root out and anticipate any miscalculations or errors. It would seem counterintuitive that failure would help us overcome our fears of leaving the law behind.

But it does. Because after you fail, you begin to succeed.

Or in other words, if you avoid the prospect of failure, you keep doing what you are doing.

If you act in small yet courageous ways that could lead to failure (beginning a blog, networking to explore new opportunities, doing research on new industries, starting a small gig on the side, volunteering), you have begun to set yourself up for success. While it may be scary to venture into areas that push your comfort level, if you work with, rely on and emphasize your strengths and skills, you are creating the energy and opportunities that will build your confidence, create connections, and one day lead to new prospects.

7. Realize that you are not alone. As you explore leaving the law, you will suffer the doubts of many others. People you normally trust and rely on may rain on your parade, or emphasize the negative or tell you things you don’t want to hear. They may feel they are being “realistic”. Or the just may not be supportive at all. Or they may just be speaking from their own insecurity and just out of worry for you.

But that’s okay, because there is a like-minded community out there of attorneys just like you (many over at Leave Law Behind!) and we are all willing to help, collaborate and share ideas. The doubters help us overcome our fears because they force us to find others who share our goals and ideals and aspirations.

8. You will think you have no idea what you are doing. Which can be so unsettling . . . but on the flip side of that anxiety comes a long lasting burst of exhilaration. When was the last time you felt so free and excitable and nervous and vulnerable and ripe-for-change and reinvent-able and inspired?

9. Say thank you. If leaving the law, and creating a new life full of potential and success and balance and satisfaction and ideals is what you may have in front of you, while it can still be overwhelming and tiring and unstructured, it often helps to realize that, in the grand scheme of things in the world in 2013, this is a great “problem” to have.

Fear of failure and embarrassment and risk and ridicule can stop us dead in our tracks before we can even get started leaving the law. The Fourth Step in leaving law behind is all about how courageous and creative and forceful we can be in showing these fears to the door. And as we do so, we can move to Step Five of leaving law behind: Getting out there. Getting out there to connect with many other people (in law and out) in order to build sincere connections of trust and help in order to explore, identify and capitalize on opportunities that will align with our skills and strengths.

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Who killed your intuition?

April 22, 2013

Most likely, you did. As did law school, your legal training, and the social mores of the industry. But don’t despair, it can be revived. I have proof. Two weeks ago I attended and spoke at the Catapult 2013 conference in San Francisco. It was held by the remarkable Alison Monahan and Lee Burgess of [...]

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One clear reason that I knew I wanted to leave law behind

April 11, 2013

[EDITOR'S NOTE:  The following is a guest post by a current technology transactions attorney and first time guest blogger on Leave Law Behind.  Here, he tells us how and why identifying a specific reason that he wants to leave law behind has been helpful in his transition.] In my journey to leave law behind, it [...]

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Why finding an “alternative legal career” is very difficult (and why that’s a real good thing)

April 2, 2013

Seth Godin, one of the most intelligent, inspiring and motivational bloggers I follow, wrote a post called “Just the Good Parts” over the weekend, where he stressed that as we (genuinely) develop our life path and grow and accomplish, we must embrace the difficult as much as celebrate the good. “I want to be an [...]

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The Third Step in Leaving Law Behind – Do What You Are Good At

March 29, 2013

This article originally appeared on Above the Law. As we discussed in the first and second articles of this series, through Leave Law Behind, I work with many intelligent attorneys who nonetheless are unhappy and want to leave the law behind and do something else. They want to change their life and their work and their [...]

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Three simple ways to channel your Sunday night anxiety to help you quit the law

March 24, 2013

Sunday night anxiety, that dread of Monday and the upcoming workweek that infects so many workers, actually comes early for many of us lawyers. Many of us lawyers work on Sundays. We go to the office because there is so much work to do, so many in-boxes to clean up, so many hours to be billed, so [...]

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Three simple things you can do right now to help you begin to quit BigLaw

March 21, 2013

Just thinking about change can stress us lawyers out. We counsel clients to avoid risk, and we ourselves often also are inclined to avoid risk in our own lives. And change is often equated as risk. And making a career change, or making a change like leaving the law (BigLaw or otherwise) . . . [...]

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The Second Step in Leaving Law Behind – Cut Your Losses

March 15, 2013

This article originally appeared on Above the Law. As we discussed in the first article of this series, through Leave Law Behind, I work with many intelligent attorneys who nonetheless are unhappy and want to leave the law behind and do something else. They want to change their life and their work and their focus with [...]

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How to remove the risk from leaving law behind

March 11, 2013

 I’m going in. I spoke with an attorney recently, and we had a great conversation about the issues she faces with the BigLaw firm at which she works. The lack of female attorneys for mentoring. The long hours. The dwindling chances of becoming a partner. Her mild depression as a lawyer. Her unhappiness as a [...]

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