[Quick reminder: Our Leave Law Behind Free Consult calls will be ending on this coming Sunday July 15th at 11.59p PT. After that date, you will no longer be able to sign up for Free Consults. I’ll send out a few more reminders this week but, if you’re serious about leaving the law, sign up now for a Free Consult with me.]
I recently emailed with a fellow member of the Leave Law Behind Online Coaching Program who is at the exciting stage of identifying and then interviewing for careers out of the law.
She’s building momentum – some of these job descriptions are shaping up to be a fit with her Unique Genius … with her skills and strengths.
But as we reviewed many of these specific jobs, her fears and self-sabotage of the actual change required to leave the legal profession would still arise.
This manifested specifically through her saying “I don’t …“, as in:
- “I don’t think I want to do [“NON-LAW” JOB X] ”, or
- “I don’t know much about [THIS ASPECT OF “NON-LAW” JOB X], so I guess I won’t pursue it” … and on and on.
Fear of change
Saying “I don’t” is a manifestation of our fear of change. It’s a way we think we protect ourselves from the unknown … but we are really just sabotaging our growth and development.
So she and I worked together on some new ways to re-phrase … or reposition … or rethink … saying “I don’t want to…” when she began to feel intimidated about her chances of leaving the legal profession and pursuing a new, alternative career.
They’ve begun to work so well, I wanted to share these below verbal devices with you, for you to use whenever you are exploring a “non-law” job you like, but feel self-sabotage creeping in. I hope you enjoy.
- Let me make sure I understand exactly what’s being asked by [“NON-LAW” JOB X] before I say I don’t want to do it.
- I need help understanding more about [“NON-LAW” JOB X], which I admit I currently feel I won’t like and can’t possibly do.
- I’m nervous about being wrong (and not “perfect”) about [“NON-LAW” JOB X] and so therefore my default thought is that I think I won’t like it.
- Let me find out more about [“NON-LAW” JOB X] before I say I can’t do it or don’t want to do it or definitely won’t be good at it.
- I’m not certain about [“NON-LAW” JOB X] but let me find out more.
- I’m confused about [“NON-LAW” JOB X] and if it fits with my Unique Genius, but that’s okay, because the more I learn about it, the more research I do, the more informational interviews I do, and the more help I get, my confusion will fade away and things will become more clear, I know this will happen.
- A better comment than “I don’t like [“NON-LAW” JOB X]” could be “Okay, [“NON-LAW” JOB X], tell me more about yourself”.
- Learning about [“NON-LAW” JOB X] is like a 5 step process in a tunnel, and I’m around step two right now, and that is fine, because I see the light at the end of this tunnel I’m in.
- I feel confident I can get to know [“NON-LAW” JOB X] more and see if it sincerely aligns with my Unique Genius and what I’m good at.
- I can tell you that [“NON-LAW” JOB X] doesn’t now jump out at me in a good way, it even makes me nervous initially, but I’m going to give [“NON-LAW” JOB X] its due and confidently learn more about it, to either cross it off my potential job list or to prioritize it as a job to explore further.
- I just don’t know about [“NON-LAW” JOB X], I feel untethered, but that’s just fine, I feel confident I’ll soon become more clear on what [“NON-LAW” JOB X] entails and whether it aligns with the value I can bring.
- I feel comfortable doing informational interviews with people about [“NON-LAW” JOB X] and learning more, and I won’t convince myself to feel stupid by asking them questions about [“NON-LAW” JOB X], because I know an informational interview is inherently a fact gathering exercise anyway.
- In the past, in law school or as a young lawyer, when I didn’t know something about a topic, I remember the tools and tips and processes that worked for me to become more clear and educated. I’m going to use those same tools here as I ramp up my knowledge on [“NON-LAW” JOB X].
- There is an element about [“NON-LAW” JOB X] that scares me (like “data” or “technology” or “working 24/7 virtually from home”) that I need to learn more about before I wholesale dismiss [“NON-LAW” JOB X] as a possibility for me.
- I know I am putting all of this meaning into [“NON-LAW” JOB X]. It really has no meaning to it beyond the perception I’m placing on it. And right now I’m putting a meaning into [“NON-LAW” JOB X] that is driven by my fear and confusion and anxiety of the unknown. So, I’m going to take a step back, and refresh the meaning I put into [“NON-LAW” JOB X]. I’m going put no meaning into [“NON-LAW” JOB X] right now, and instead just be open and non-judgmental (as best I can, because being non judgmental is difficult and not exactly natural for me) to what [“NON-LAW” JOB X] calls for.
If you feel you feel you still need some help breaking free from the curse of saying “I don’t” when it comes to leaving the legal profession, than please schedule a Free Consult with me to discuss the Leave Law Behind Program. And if you’re serious about leaving the law, I would encourage you to sign up for a Free Consult now, as the last day to sign up for free is July 15th.