This article originally appeared on Above the Law.

As we discussed in the first three articles of this series, through Leave Law Behind, I work with many intelligent attorneys who nonetheless are unhappy and want to leave the law behind and do something else. They want to change their life and their work and their focus with the goal to be more satisfied, more confident and happier.

I tell them the first step in leaving the law behind involves getting a handle on their money situation; to become as confident and exact as possible in understanding (i) their expenses, as well as any (ii) safety net and other sources of financial support they can call upon if needed.

The second step in leaving law behind is about not letting your past undermine your future. More specifically, this step involves resolving any lingering demons law school may hold over your head (squeezing out more of a ROI from my law school “investment”, ensuring my identity is tied to being an attorney, what else would I do if I’m not a lawyer, etc.) that prevents you from moving forward with positive change in your life.

The third step in leaving law behind involves focusing on exploring your Unique Genius. Your Unique Genius is made up of those skills and strengths that come so naturally to you, so effortlessly to you, that you don’t even think of them as a skill. It is upon these skills that you do so well that you will begin to base your post-lawyer life and career. It is with these strengths at which you excel that you will begin to create a life of confidence and self-worth.

The fourth step? Facing your fears. You can plan as much as you’d like, disconnect from law school and be as self-analytical as you want. But nothing will happen, you will never be able to create a new life for yourself unless you face down and begin to manage your fears of change and of leaving the law. This is a life-long process, of course, but as with anything, there are small, incremental steps you can take now to build up the courage, emotion and structure to face your fears and begin to leave law behind.

What are some of these fears that prevent us from creating change and leaving law behind? There are many:

1. I’m afraid that if I leave the law, I’ll be different than all of my attorney friends
2. I’m afraid I won’t be able to make as much money as I make now
3. I’m afraid that I cannot do anything different than the practice of law
4. I’m afraid I won’t be able to convince someone else to hire me
5. I’m afraid to tell my firm I want to leave
6. I’m afraid that I will fail
7. I’m afraid to take a risk
8. I’m afraid everyone will laugh at me
9. I’m afraid I’ll get my bar license stripped away
10. I’m afraid I won’t be able to say I’m really a lawyer anymore
11. I’m afraid I’ll have to find a new identity
12. I’m afraid it’ll takes a long time
13. I’m afraid I’ll have to face some difficult facts about myself
14. I’m afraid it won’t be easy
15. I’m afraid I will be ridiculed and doubted
16. I’m afraid I will make mistakes

And there are likely many more we could think of.

Now let’s be honest – I’m not sure you can ever get over many of your fears. A lot of the anxiety from these fears remains in our lives, or comes back to mess with us throughout a given week, or arises when stimulated by something, or is just something we will always have to deal with.

But some of these fears you can wrestle down and get over. And those fears that you can’t totally eliminate, you can at least manage them so they do not utterly prevent you from making change, and leaving law behind.

Here are nine steps and insights to get you started:

1. All of these fears are in, and come from, your own head. As Robert Brault said, “Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?” Unfortunately, you’re stuck with your head. But fortunately, you can now isolate the source of much of the insecurity.

2. And the cause of this anxiety is your “demon voice.” It’s this voice that feeds doubt, that takes shots at our self-confidence, that limits our growth. I’m not sure if this demon voice can ever be completely eradicated. And to make matters worse, it often sneaks up on us, and brings us down without any warning, confusing us and ruining our day or week. But it can be ignored and dealt with and minimized. Realize that what is actually bringing you down is just this little demon voice, and not anything endemic to you personally. It’s the voice, not you.

3. You have at your disposal the power of the baby step. While they take a while, and they are not sexy or glamorous and they may be boring to complete and they require patience and immediate results are hard to come by, the best way to chip at the fears blocking your path to leaving the law is to use the strength of the Baby Step.

By their nature, baby steps are easy to begin and fairly straightforward to complete. They can be fun. They build confidence. They let us dip our toe in, they let us warm-up, they let us proceed at a good pace. They can be fun, preparatory, and motivating, and will help position you to leave the law, all the while slowly mitigating the noxious effects of your fears. [For some easy baby steps to leave the law behind that you can begin right now, clickhere.]

4. What makes us afraid … makes other (non-attorneys) envious. So many attorneys feel that their skills can only be used to practice the law. The skills that we see as pigeonholing us from doing anything else, much of the rest of the world sees as great strengths.

We lawyers actually have many transferrable skills to other industries. When you think about what many good lawyers do (issue spot, solve problems, calm clients, meet deadlines, write persuasive material, upsell services, build morale, retain close customer contact, lead teams, distill complicated terms into simple language, help people …) which company/tech-firm/government department wouldn’t want someone who could do all of that, while being smart, disciplined and loyal?

A great way to get over our fear of the risk, embarrassment and lack-of-comfort-level that stands in our way from leaving law behind is to realize in no uncertain terms that you (yes, you, disgruntled, unhappy, dissatisfied, unmoored attorney) are kind of a bad-ass. And you have skills that are in demand.

5. Your identity may be dying for a change. A major obstacle to leaving the law is the (perceived) need to retain our identity as a lawyer. We often feel that we’ve worked so hard to be recognized as an attorney, we’ve worked so hard for our book of business, we’ve worked so hard to build our resume, that to leave the law would be akin to throwing our sense of self (and all the hard work that went into building it) down the drain.

And while it may not make sense to turn 180 degrees on a dime, repositioning who you are, and possibly calling yourself something else (a consultant, an advisor, an entrepreneur, a teacher, a volunteer, a Linchpin) in addition to an attorney may open up so many other opportunities.

And it also opens up the possibility to meeting so many other types of people who are (gasp) not attorneys. We lawyers can be very insular, and only hang out with our own kind. Repositioning your identity also helps reposition your network. And when you meet new people, you encounter new opportunities. And when you encounter new opportunities, you can possibly find a professional channel that aligns very well with your Unique Genius. And when you begin exploring a professional channel that aligns very well with your strengths and what you are good at and what you enjoy, you are on a solid path to fulfilling work. [Yes, that’s how it works]

6. You will fail and make mistakes. At first glance, that is horrible. We lawyers are trained and designed to root out and anticipate any miscalculations or errors. It would seem counterintuitive that failure would help us overcome our fears of leaving the law behind.

But it does. Because after you fail, you begin to succeed.

Or in other words, if you avoid the prospect of failure, you keep doing what you are doing.

If you act in small yet courageous ways that could lead to failure (beginning a blog, networking to explore new opportunities, doing research on new industries, starting a small gig on the side, volunteering), you have begun to set yourself up for success. While it may be scary to venture into areas that push your comfort level, if you work with, rely on and emphasize your strengths and skills, you are creating the energy and opportunities that will build your confidence, create connections, and one day lead to new prospects.

7. Realize that you are not alone. As you explore leaving the law, you will suffer the doubts of many others. People you normally trust and rely on may rain on your parade, or emphasize the negative or tell you things you don’t want to hear. They may feel they are being “realistic”. Or the just may not be supportive at all. Or they may just be speaking from their own insecurity and just out of worry for you.

But that’s okay, because there is a like-minded community out there of attorneys just like you (many over at Leave Law Behind!) and we are all willing to help, collaborate and share ideas. The doubters help us overcome our fears because they force us to find others who share our goals and ideals and aspirations.

8. You will think you have no idea what you are doing. Which can be so unsettling . . . but on the flip side of that anxiety comes a long lasting burst of exhilaration. When was the last time you felt so free and excitable and nervous and vulnerable and ripe-for-change and reinvent-able and inspired?

9. Say thank you. If leaving the law, and creating a new life full of potential and success and balance and satisfaction and ideals is what you may have in front of you, while it can still be overwhelming and tiring and unstructured, it often helps to realize that, in the grand scheme of things in the world in 2013, this is a great “problem” to have.

Fear of failure and embarrassment and risk and ridicule can stop us dead in our tracks before we can even get started leaving the law. The Fourth Step in leaving law behind is all about how courageous and creative and forceful we can be in showing these fears to the door. And as we do so, we can move to Step Five of leaving law behind: Getting out there. Getting out there to connect with many other people (in law and out) in order to build sincere connections of trust and help in order to explore, identify and capitalize on opportunities that will align with our skills and strengths.

Most likely, you did. As did law school, your legal training, and the social mores of the industry.

But don’t despair, it can be revived. I have proof.

Two weeks ago I attended and spoke at the Catapult 2013 conference in San Francisco. It was held by the remarkable Alison Monahan and Lee Burgess of the Law School Toolbox and Girl’s Guide to Law School. (I encourage you to sign up at catapult2013.com for future events they put on). The conference was focused on empowering law students and young lawyers to take control of their careers and think creatively about the future … right up our alley!

One the most interesting panels consisted of practicing lawyers who actually (believe it or not) currently enjoy their job. The panel was so insightful because each shared how long it took, and how much trial and error and experiences and mistakes they had to go through, until they found or landed in the law job they currently like. Many discussed how they pursued and worked in one area of law (litigation or patent law) because they thought it would be a good fit, but that theory turned out incorrect. Each of the panelists had a moment where they said to themselves “What went wrong here?!”

And the answer many of the panelists gave was “I never trusted my gut.”

And a key ingredient of identifying and moving forward with the type of career they would actually like was courageously reviving that source of internal insight to help shed positive light on just which path was the right one.  And which touch questions needed to be asked.  And which difficult decisions needed to be made.  And which hard work needed to be completed.

While they may use a nice mix of analytical skills and professional intuition when representing a client, the panelists all seemed to have only relied on the former when assessing the most optimal career paths or beginning a job search or planning for their post law school career.

Why did they (almost) entirely abandon their intuition when it came to planning their careers? They viewed law jobs almost exclusively through the lens of security and money (and not alignment with their skills and strengths). They viewed law jobs mainly for how they would contribute to their career progress (and not whether they were actually good at the requirements). They considered law jobs for what seemed like the right and accepted path to follow (and not the one they really wanted to do and enjoy).

Many of us lawyers unhappy with the legal profession have put our intuition on the backburner. We don’t often trust our gut, as it’s too emotional and oftentimes untrustworthy. We don’t trust our gut because it can be not-right some times. We don’t trust our quick and ready insights because we feel our law school wouldn’t want us to, our parents wouldn’t want us to, the bills we need to pay wouldn’t want us to. We don’t trust our gut because we feel it’s the anti-thesis of the “safe route”. We use our well-honed analytical skills to find a job that everyone seems to think works for us . . . everyone except us.

It may seem cheesy and irrational and not empirical and without proven precedent and authority, but, as you consider to properly leave the law, do not reject your inner source, your inner guide. It knows you too well to continue to be dismissed.

[EDITOR'S NOTE:  The following is a guest post by a current technology transactions attorney and first time guest blogger on Leave Law Behind.  Here, he tells us how and why identifying a specific reason that he wants to leave law behind has been helpful in his transition.]

In my journey to leave law behind, it has been helpful to identify and constantly remind myself of the concrete reasons why I want to leave. Of a few that I’ve been able to ascertain, one obvious example is a mismatch of my personal values with those of most in the legal profession.

I parted ways with a small boutique law firm a while back. Although I wasn’t fired, the separation was very difficult. For a period of time after I left I placed a lot of the blame on myself and even began to question my competence as a professional.

A few months later I continued to reflect on the situation, still uncomfortable with how things had ended. I recalled that while at the firm we frequently received junk mail for various CLE offerings. The other attorneys would joke about how uninteresting these offerings seemed to them while I got really excited reading the pamphlets and thinking about learning something completely new and different. For me these CLEs represented not a distraction from the singular focus that made our firm so valuable, effective, and efficient (the mindset of my colleagues) but an opportunity to expand my horizons and better understand the world around me. And taking that time, to expand my horizons, was important to me.

I also remembered how not only were my colleagues singularly focused upon billable hours (how many they had, whether time was billable, how much time in a day they had to devote to billable activities) but that they were remarkably content to be so focused. I, on the contrary, was very unhappy thinking that way. There were many other important things that I wanted to do with my time that didn’t fit into the paradigm of a billable hour: chasing down a crazy idea, sitting and just thinking, writing, developing a new approach to some kind of problem, or meeting with interesting people to hear about their ideas. I didn’t want to have to worry about whether or how much of the time that I spent doing those things, those things that I felt were important, could be attributed to a specific client’s bill in six-minute increments. Those other activities seemed inherently valuable to me.

Many people, and particularly many lawyers, might have concluded that my thoughts were either self-deceiving justification of my laziness or wishful but unrealistic thinking that work should be all fun. I chose to view it a different way. I decided that I was neither lazy, nor incompetent, nor unrealistic: I just didn’t care about the same things that most lawyers did nor did most lawyers care about the things that were important to me. We had (and have) differing values.

Once I realized that the issue wasn’t skills, smarts, or work ethic but values that made me uncomfortable as a lawyer, I could confidently and comfortably state that practicing law – or at least, practicing in the traditional sense – was not for me.

I have yet to complete my transition to leave law behind. In fact, I’m really just beginning. However, my acknowledgement that my personal values don’t align with those held by most others in the profession has been a helpful guide and reminder as I move forward in my journey.

Some recent posts you might enjoy

Why finding an alternative legal career is very difficult (and why that’s a real good thing)
The Second Step in Leaving Law Behind – Cut Your Losses
The Third Step in Leaving Law Behind – Do What You Are Good At
How to remove the risk from leaving law behind
How a lost dog can teach you to leave law behind
What if you found out you were about to get laid off

Seth Godin, one of the most intelligent, inspiring and motivational bloggers I follow, wrote a post called “Just the Good Parts” over the weekend, where he stressed that as we (genuinely) develop our life path and grow and accomplish, we must embrace the difficult as much as celebrate the good.

“I want to be an actress, but I don’t want to go on auditions” he writes. “You don’t get to just do the good parts,” he reminds us, and then urges that “When the tough parts come along, the rejection and the slog and the unfair bad breaks, it makes sense to welcome them. Instead of cursing or fearing the down moments, understand that they mean you’ve chosen reality, not some unsustainable fantasy. It means that you’re doing worthwhile, difficult work, not merely amusing yourself.”

He finishes by saying “The very thing you’re seeking only exists because of the whole. We can’t deny the difficult parts, we have no choice but to embrace them.”

You’ve likely heard of this before in some form. “You need the ups and the downs” or “You can’t appreciate the good until you’ve experienced the bad” or “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.”

And what I like about Godin’s post is his emphasis on “embracing” the difficult parts.

To drill down even further, I like to think that when you properly embrace the difficult (or the overwhelming or the where-do-I-start? or the confidence-busting or the de-motivating or the demon-voice-creating) aspects of life, work or, for our purposes here, leaving the law, you actually begin to find the value in the difficult, the bad, the risky, the failing.

We of course know the value of success, as it can be easy to see: more money, more confidence, more awareness, more comfort, more peace-of-mind, more respect, more freedom.

But the value of the difficult can be harder to discern. Not because it is any less, but rather because our place-in-life at that time or our mood or our sadness or our lack of confidence can blur us from seeing it. The value of the difficult is found in how it roots us in reality (Life can be hard). How it provides us with a strong precedent (I’ve conquered a challenge like this before, I can do it again). How it teaches (I won’t make that same mistake twice). How it makes us laugh (Remember that time when . . .?)

Think back on your years practicing. How did you get to be a fifth year associate or a seventh year litigator or owner of that small firm? Embracing and learning from the mistakes you’ve made and the challenges you’ve overcome and the tests you’ve passed and the anxiety you’ve tempered and the uphill learning curve you’ve climbed have informed and contributed to your progress as much as the successes you’ve attained while growing in the law.

The same formula applies to leaving it.

Many of us chose law because it seemed like such a set, guaranteed path. Respected, satisfying, manageable, lucrative, stable. And now for many of us . . . it’s not. We are not happy and not satisfied and as many of us enter our mid 30’s and 40’s, we can’t help but wonder what went wrong.

Like the path you took to get where you are today, leaving law behind is very difficult. Many of us do not know where to get started. We do not have the confidence to take that first step. It involves leaving the only discipline you may have ever known. It involves repositioning your skill set. It requires transforming yourself to fit a new role or industry or requirements. It requires acknowledging that there is no magic pill. It takes courage and inner discipline and hard work and inner confidence and baby step after baby step, which is tiring and fragile and unchartered. The journey is often lonely and misunderstood.

But it is valuable. So valuable. Because in both the good (a new biz dev job at that tech start-up!) and the bad (your 33rd “informational interview” coffee and no substantial jobs leads yet) you’re doing worthwhile, difficult work. For yourself. For your family. For all of us.

Some recent posts you might enjoy

The Second Step in Leaving Law Behind – Cut Your Losses
How to remove the risk from leaving law behind
How a lost dog can teach you to leave law behind
What if you found out you were about to get laid off
The main reason why you are not leaving law behind right now

This article originally appeared on Above the Law.

As we discussed in the first and second articles of this series, through Leave Law Behind, I work with many intelligent attorneys who nonetheless are unhappy and want to leave the law behind and do something else. They want to change their life and their work and their focus with the goal to be more satisfied, more confident and happier.

I tell them the first step in leaving the law behind involves getting a handle on their money situation; to become as confident and exact as possible in understanding (i) their expenses, as well as any (ii) safety net and other sources of financial support they can call upon if needed.

The second step in leaving law behind is about not letting our past undermine our future. More specifically, this step involves resolving any lingering demons law school may hold over your head (squeezing out more of an ROI from my law school “investment”, ensuring my identity is tied to being an attorney, what else would I do if I’m not a lawyer, etc.) that prevents you from moving forward with positive change in your life.

The third step? Now this is where the rubber hits the road, and the leave law behind process can become increasingly more difficult, but also highly rewarding. The third step focuses on exploring your Unique Genius. Your Unique Genius is made up of those skills and strengths that come so naturally to you, so effortlessly to you, that you don’t even think of them as a skill. It is upon these skills that you do so well that you will begin to base your post-lawyer life and career. It is with these strengths at which you excel that you will begin to create a life of confidence and self-worth.

In other words, you want to be conscious of incorporating those skills that you are good at, that you are strong at, and that are in alignment with what you enjoy into any new job and venture you pursue. This pairing can make life and work easier, more enjoyable, and you happier, more confident and satisfied.

Sounds great right? Do what you like and enjoy and then get paid for it. Simple. Clear.

So why do so many of us still struggle at finding what we’re good at, what we enjoy, what our strengths are? Why are many of us still confused or unclear as to our life purpose or our life mission? Why are we often unable to connect our skills to a job or venture we actually like that actually pays or earns us the amount of money we want to make?

There are a lot of reasons, but it’s mainly because we don’t know where to look for help (ergo the birth of Leave Law Behind!). We don’t know who else to involve (any other unhappy attorneys out there who want to talk honestly!? Hello, I know you are out there.) We can get overwhelmed by all of the (ostensibly) helpful (but still vague) “self-development” questions or comments we find online (What is your passion? What did you want to be when you were 8 years old? If you could make a difference in someone’s life, what would you want to accomplish? What is important to you? What were you born to do?) And we don’t know which questions to ask.

As a confidence-building, motivation-accruing, initial baby-step to gain a better handle on our Unique Genius, here we will focus on three questions. Three questions, the answers to which can provide you with tangible, understandable, actionable next steps on how best to understand what you’re good at…and then do something positive about it.

1. What are you already doing (or would you do) for free to help people? This points to what you enjoy.

How about you – what do you do for free? Do you follow politics? Do you love to help in any way? Are you posting pictures of your food on Instagram? Do you manage the apartment building you live in? Do you write reviews on Yelp? Do you volunteer at a community center? Do you buy and sell sports tickets online? Or coach a team? Are you the manager of a group? Do you sail? Did you live abroad in Korea and continue to love its culture and language? Where or how are you the “glue” of some volunteering activity?

For example, I put on a free Leave Law Behind event last October in San Francisco. I paid for the room and food out of pocket, took time from my family, and got a bit stressed out planning. Why? Because I love to be around people, I love to public speak, I love to help like-minded attorneys and I love to connect attorneys together to help and support themselves. We had a great showing and I truly enjoyed it because…frankly I was good at it. And I didn’t get paid a dime.

These activities can shed light on what you sincerely enjoy and relish and love. What makes you feel great and alive and important. You are doing them for free…so you likely enjoy them and are fairly proficient (if not great) at them.

2. For what type of advice do people come to you? This speaks to what comes naturally to you. Think about right now, about back in high school, college, law school, professionally – for what information or help do people seek you out?

Of course, your clients come to you now for legal advice. But what else do your clients come to you for – Comfort in a time of need? A shoulder to lean on? Business guidance?

And what do other (non-client) people in your life come to you for? And as you drill down and begin exploring what type of advice you regularly provide to people in your life, do not worry that the advice you give may seem personal, too “out there”, too intangible or “soft”, only for a select group of people, or may seem non-applicable to the larger world. Finding what advice people come to you for can provide insight into the value people think you bring to them when they have a problem to solve. It also shows that there is a need for insight into this type of topic…and that people view you as an authority. Be a good listener, and catalogue what people ask you. This helps inform how your skills are important to and for other people.

People come to me about a number of things, but one area I’m really good at, be it in business, career searches or otherwise, is issue spotting. I’m able to assess the story I’m being told and strip away the emotions and other issues and help the person get right to the issue that needs to be solved. I give them the baby-step to focus on next, and the courage to do it.

Think about what people come to you for. This can provide insight into the value people think you bring to them when they have a problem to solve. And where there is a problem to be solved, there is a need that you especially can fill.

3. What do people compliment you on? This points to your strengths.

What do people say positively about you? Do you dress well? Are you full of good energy? Do you have a great smile? Are you the life of the party? Are you dependable? Are you a self starter? Disciplined? Good listener? Ambitious? Creative? Studious? Are you good at strategy? Can you work a room? Are you insightful? Can you speak well? Can you solve puzzles? Do you like people? Do you like to schmooze? Are you a good listener? Can you herd cats? Do you instill confidence in people? Do you lead…or advise? Can you write a paper well? Solve a problem? Organize a party? Fix a car?

One attorney I spoke with said he has always been known for (and personally enjoyed) his good speaking skills, his comfort in front of an audience and his easy rapport with people. It was these reasons that led him to choose litigation as a career.

But he soured on litigation, and became very unhappy. While as a litigator he did a lot of speaking in front of people, he did not like the adversarial nature of the courtroom or the zero-sum game of the business. He realized that he was also good at creating things and collaborating with others. As a result, he is now moving beyond litigation to find roles as a business advisor (a “consigliore” he likes to say) or a strategic consultant. This lets him utilize his speaking and people skills in a collaborative and creative way he likes best.

If you are having difficulty brainstorming compliments, meet and speak with some close friends or family and tell them that you are not just fishing for positive comments, but rather that you’re very interested in having them list and explain some of your positive traits…so that you can actually internalize what it is you are good at and act upon this. Whatever it is, this can be a good reality check for your skills and a way to carve out a niche that you can definitely succeed at, because you’re doing something well in a way that others perceive the value of it.

This third step in leaving law behind helps us unhappy, disgruntled, potential-unrealized, not- totally-satisfied-with-themselves attorneys to understand ourselves better, to change our course (altogether or just slightly) in order to ensure we do and get paid for what we are good at and what we enjoy. It is a main pillar in the planning required to properly leave law behind.

Once we get a handle on exploring our Unique Genius, we can then move to Step Four of leaving law behind: Facing and slowly overcoming the remaining fears of leaving law behind which can be so hard to shake. The fear of losing our identity, the fear of failure, and the fear of ridicule.

Related posts you may find interesting
The Second Step in Leaving Law Behind – Cut Your Losses
How to remove the risk from leaving law behind
How a lost dog can teach you to leave law behind
What if you found out you were about to get laid off
The main reason why you are not leaving law behind right now

Sunday night anxiety, that dread of Monday and the upcoming workweek that infects so many workers, actually comes early for many of us lawyers. Many of us lawyers work on Sundays. We go to the office because there is so much work to do, so many in-boxes to clean up, so many hours to be billed, so many partners to impress, so much rainmaking to do. So Sunday night anxiety for us lawyers actually could be renamed Saturday night anxiety. Or Saturday morning anxiety.

One client of mine told me that the best part of her weekend was Friday late afternoon. The week was winding down, most people had already checked out for the weekend and a calm usually came over her office and the whole downtown. But she could never enjoy her Saturdays because (you guessed it) Sunday was just another work day.

While it may take a while and a lot of hard work and a re-crafting of yourself and your profession to get to a point where you don’t have to work Sundays, you can use your Sunday work days to help you leave law behind. Here’s some simple ways how:

First, set a calendar meeting for yourself to work on leaving law behind. Sounds cheesy I know, but on your calendar actually block off time have it pop up visually on your screen, have your smart phone calendar make a ding, maybe even have your spouse or friend call you at that time. Whatever you need – but make sure you are reminded of this meeting and block it out. Otherwise, you’ll forget and the day will pass. You’ll have billed 8 more hours . . . but you’ll be no closer to making positive change in your life.

Second, this meeting with yourself needs to be short and very fun. Make it 30 minutes, that’s it. No more for the first or second time. And make it fun. Walk around the block, get out of the office, go get coffee, or stay at your desk, but make sure it is a break from you your normal Sunday work routine.

So, if it’s going to be short, and fun, you may ask, what am I actually supposed to do during this time? Thanks for asking. During this 30 minute meeting-with-yourself, this first baby-step-get-the-momentum-to-leave-the-law meeting, focus on one of the two following areas:

a. Take out a piece of paper, or speak out loud to yourself to the voice recorder on your phone, and answer the following question: What do people compliment me on? As loyal readers know, this question (and a few others) are the core launching point for exploring one’s Unique Genius. I can’t reiterate this enough: The Unique Genius is the collection of those skills and strengths that come so naturally to you, so effortlessly to you, that you don’t even think of them as skills. It is upon these skills that you do so well that you will begin to base your post-lawyer life and career. It is with these strengths at which you excel that you will begin to create a life of confidence and self-worth. And finding out what people compliment you on specifically points to your strengths. And it’s a fun exercise, it can build up your confidence, and it’s a great way to get the momentum flowing.

b. Or, think about who you would like to meet and have coffee with. This is a networking step. Research online, think about your extended network, go to LinkedIn or go through your contacts and find someone, anyone, who you don’t know now, who you would like to learn more about and with whom you may be connected. You want to reach out to these folks to (i) learn more (i.e. research) of what they do as a potential career option for you and (ii) see if they can put you in touch with others as you explore leaving the law (i.e. provide more leads).

And to make this easy for you, here’s a sample email you could use in reaching out to your friends who may have a connection with these desired contacts – it’s short and sweet and respects how busy and short of time the recipient may be.

Dear NAME OF YOUR FRIEND/CONTACT

I hope you are well. Between you and me, I’m working on expanding my network and exploring some new opportunities, within law and beyond. I noticed some interesting people you’re connected with on LinkedIn – can I send over a few names to see if you’d feel comfortable making an introduction for me? What do you think?

Thanks
YOUR NAME

As Ramit Sethi says, this is a “pre-commitment” strategy – a short email, that doesn’t take long for them to read, doesn’t take too much time out of their day to review, and most often will result in a higher response rate. If they say yes, then you can follow up with a longer email with more detail, like:

Dear NAME

Thanks so much for your offer to help. As I mentioned, between you and me, I am beginning to explore some new career paths, within law and beyond. I am just beginning the process and exploring what’s out there and I wanted to reach out to you and ask for your help.

I noticed you are connected to NAME OF PERSON YOU WANT TO GET COFFEE WITH. Are you close with NAME OF PERSON? Would you feel comfortable introducing me to NAME OF PERSON? I am very interested in NAME OF PERSON’s space and would like to learn more about what he does. To be clear, I am not searching for a job – just beginning my research on other career opportunities.

If you feel uncomfortable at all in introducing me at all to NAME OF PERSON, I completely understand, and no offense at all. I respect that.

But if you wouldn’t mind introducing me, I would greatly appreciate it. As I know you are busy, I can send you a short blurb that you can then copy and paste into an email to NAME OF PERSON.

Thanks
YOUR NAME

If leaving law is a priority, take 30 minutes today to get it started. The above steps are easy to do, don’t take too much time, can be very fun and will certainly build your confidence.

And send me an email to let me know how it goes.

Related posts you may find interesting
The Second Step in Leaving Law Behind – Cut Your Losses
How to remove the risk from leaving law behind
How a lost dog can teach you to leave law behind
What if you found out you were about to get laid off
The main reason why you are not leaving law behind right now

Check LLB on Facebook and Twitter

Just thinking about change can stress us lawyers out. We counsel clients to avoid risk, and we ourselves often also are inclined to avoid risk in our own lives.

And change is often equated as risk. And making a career change, or making a change like leaving the law (BigLaw or otherwise) . . . or just thinking about leaving the law can be considered a huge risk, creating high levels of anxiety. We may feel guilty even thinking about such a thing. We may want to keep this idea inside. We may not know where to go to find support and others who feel this way. We may not know where to begin. We may just feel overwhelmed, anxious and downright scared.

And these feelings are justified. There is no magic pill or easy way to leave the law behind and start a new path in life. It takes time and courage and hard work and luck and patience and self-analysis.

But it also takes a first step. A first-small-confidence-building-fun-inexpensive baby step to build momentum. I have discussed many of these steps with many of my clients, and three very easy, and also very motivating and instructive, steps are listed below for you to try:

1.The fun, cheap, can-do-it-right-now step: Reserve a domain name. Yup. Just go to Godaddy and for $10-$20 or so, you can get started leaving the law behind. Reserve yourname.com, yournameconsulting.com, or yournameadvisory.com. Reserve a domain that hearkens back to your hometown or a trip you took or something you really enjoy.

It’s a great first step, because it’s inexpensive, you see the results right away and there is so much you can easily build around it (a professional email address, a website, a blog, a social marketing platform . . . the list goes on).

2.The networking step: Meet with one (yes, just one) non-lawyer. Take a non-lawyer out to lunch or coffee. Reach out to or get connected to a CEO of a company. A COO of a company. A VP of business development. The head of a non-profit. Someone in entertainment. Someone in finance. Someone in a field you think you’d like. Someone who does something that you think you could do well at. Someone who does something that you think you would enjoy.

And this someone won’t care much about which law school you went to or which journal you wrote for or which case you just settled. Hopefully, he or she will tell you honestly about what they do and you can get a better feel for whether you like this industry. And if you two hit it off, hopefully you can get this person to recommend another person in this field for you to talk to. And then another. And another. And as your network grows over time . . . well I think you see where I’m going (if you don’t, email me).

3.The Unique Genius step: Ask yourself “What do people compliment me on? “This is the beginning of defining your Unique Genius, which is the collection of those skills and strengths that come so naturally to you, so effortlessly to you, that you don’t even think of them as a skill. It is upon these skills that you do so well that you will begin to base your post-lawyer life and career. It is with these strengths at which you excel that you will begin to create a life of confidence and self-worth.

Finding out what people compliment you on specifically points to your strengths. What do people say positively about you? Do you dress well? Are you full of good energy? Do you have a great smile? Are you the life of the party? Quiet? Are you dependable? Are you a self starter? Disciplined? Good listener? Detail oriented? Ambitious? Creative? Studious? Are you good at strategy? Can you work a room? Are you insightful? Can you speak well? Can you solve puzzles?

If you don’t know, meet with some close friends or family and tell them that you are not fishing for compliments, but rather that you’re very interested in having them list and explain some of your positive traits . . . so that you can actually internalize what it is you are good at and let this inform you as you leave law behind.

Of course there is much more to leaving law behind (financial analysis, planning for other streams of revenue, etc.) but you’d be surprise how easy it can be to get the ball rolling. And once you have that momentum . . . you’d be surprised of all the things you can do.

Contact me if you’re interested in exploring a one-to-one leave law behind coaching course.

Related posts you may find interesting
The Second Step in Leaving Law Behind – Cut Your Losses
How to remove the risk from leaving law behind
How a lost dog can teach you to leave law behind
What if you found out you were about to get laid off
The main reason why you are not leaving law behind right now

Check LLB on Facebook and Twitter

This article originally appeared on Above the Law.

As we discussed in the first article of this series, through Leave Law Behind, I work with many intelligent attorneys who nonetheless are unhappy and want to leave the law behind and do something else. They want to change their life and their work and their focus with the goal to be more satisfied, more confident and happier.

I tell them the first step in leaving the law behind involves getting a handle on their money situation; to become as confident and exact as possible in understanding (i) their expenses, as well as any (ii) safety net and other sources of financial support they can call upon if needed.

The second step in leaving law behind? Before getting one’s resume ready or applying for jobs or networking, the second step often involves getting over law school. Or in other words . . . cutting your losses. Or to be more blunt: Move on. Stop living in the past. Stop thinking you need to eke out more of a return on your law school investment. Focus on the road ahead.

One of the main factors that keeps us attorneys (unhappily) practicing the law is the simple fact that we went to law school. Because we went to and graduated from law school and studied for and passed the bar and applied to and became licensed by the state bar, we often feel that we need to keep practicing to justify all of this past effort and expense. Our thinking goes something like this:

1. I made that financial investment, and may still be paying off these loans, and I don’t want that investment to go for naught, so I’m going to continue practicing to justify those dollars spent (even if I’m not really that happy being a lawyer . . . )

2. I put a lot of time and effort and sweat and tears into getting through law school, and if I “quit” being a lawyer, I’ll have nothing to show for it (even if I’m not really that happy being a lawyer . . . )

3. Ever since I applied to law school (if not before) I have wanted to be an attorney, or so I thought. My identity is connected to being an attorney. My personal self-worth is intertwined with being an attorney. I cannot imagine calling myself anything else (even if I’m not really that happy being a lawyer . . . )

4. I actually kind of enjoyed law school. It was intellectually stimulating and I have some good memories of the place (even if I’m not really that happy being a lawyer . . . )

Many of us are not that happy being a lawyer. We do not get that sense of fulfillment from practicing law that we thought we would. We are realizing that our skills and strengths may not be in alignment with what it calls for to be an attorney. We may not be making the amount of money we want to make. We may want to work for ourselves. We may not jibe with the people we work with. The world has changed so much since we graduated law school and we may want to enter new and other fields.

So if you are one of the many who dreams of leaving law behind, it can be wise to invest the time and effort to reconcile any unresolved feelings about your time in law school that could pose as obstacles to exploring new opportunities.

But this might be easier said than done. There will likely be doubters amongst family and friends as well as that “demon” voice in your own head which will hold one back. So while this second step in leaving law behind can be an ongoing process and one that an attorney struggles with over time, even after one has officially “left” the law, the following are some instructive steps to help mitigate the guilt that comes with leaving the law and disassociating oneself with law school:

1. Face the fact that you may have gone to law school for the wrong reasons. If you’re like me, you may not have critically thought about why you went to law school. Or after college you may have just wanted to stay in school (any school, really) and were too lazy to get a job. Or you went for ethnic/cultural/familial reasons (I was a young Jewish kid who didn’t like blood. Doctor? No. Lawyer . . . sure.)

As you become more honest with yourself about the real reasons you went to law school, it can become clear that law school may not have been the right decision for you. This is not a cause for regret; rather this can be a positive development and actually make it easier for you to leave law behind: Face it – the industry just really isn’t for you.

2. You likely already received a great return on your investment. If even after careful self-analysis you determine that you did go to law school for the “right reasons”, you still may be unhappy practicing now. And there is a good chance that all of the money and hard work you put into succeeding at law school has already paid off. In other words, you likely have realized the ROI already.

Don’t shortchange what you have accomplished. You’ve made money as an attorney. You have a well-honed set of skills that many employers (legal or otherwise) find attractive. You have the smarts and intelligence and discipline and originality to grow and build and create new businesses or help existing ones. You have optimized your law school degree. Congrats. But you still aren’t happy. It’s now time to move on. Just because you paid for something doesn’t mean it needs to rule your life forever.

3. You’ll use what you learned and gained in law school forever. Remember, just because you have begun to leave the law behind, that doesn’t mean that your law school education and experience was wasted:

a. Every non-lawyer will give you the benefit of the doubt and think you’re smart. Really. Just say you went to law school, and practiced in the past, and no matter what job you’re doing at the time, you’ll be looked at with some level of respect. The cachet of being a lawyer still holds true amongst the general public (and if you wear glasses, they’ll think you’re even smarter).

b. What we learned in law school (issue spotting, strong writing skills, persuasive techniques, public speaking) are all needed across the board in jobs. As such, you never really leave law behind. The art is in repositioning your legal skills for a new role or industry.

4. Realize, you’re a lot better than you think you are. Admittedly, law school might have sapped you of much of your creativity. As one client said to me about law school: “So many brilliant and creative minds go to law school and magically get zapped into sameness. I hated law school – wish I would have had the guts to drop out.”

But do not fear. The creative, dynamic, ambitious, helpful person that you know you are is still inside you. It hasn’t been eliminated. And the process of leaving the law behind can be just the motivation and permission it needs to re-emerge.

After you get a handle on your money situation, the second step of leaving law behind is to get over any lingering demons law school may hold over your head. You cannot let a commitment of the past preclude you from being happy in the future.

Once you feel good about breaking away from the guilt and obligations of your past, then things gets very exciting. We then move to Step Three of leaving law behind, Exploring your Unique Genius: Those skills and strengths that come so naturally to you, so effortlessly to you, that you don’t even think of them as a skill. It is upon these skills that you do so well that you will begin to base your post-lawyer life and career. It is with these strengths at which you excel that you will begin to create a life of confidence and self-worth.

 I’m going in.

I spoke with an attorney recently, and we had a great conversation about the issues she faces with the BigLaw firm at which she works. The lack of female attorneys for mentoring. The long hours. The dwindling chances of becoming a partner. Her mild depression as a lawyer. Her unhappiness as a lawyer. The allure of working in tech or marketing (or anywhere else “hip”). The realization that there is a bigger (and more lucrative) world out there than just being a litigator.

It was a great conversation and I’m happy to say that she is encouraged by all of the potential that exist for her beyond the firm and the law.

But she isn’t leaving the law. Nope. No time soon. She’ll be at her firm for a long while. She admitted as much to me.

Why? She feels that leaving the law is too risky. She feels that the potential for some sort of (huge, unmanageable) loss to arise from her leaving the law is too great for her to attempt it. Running out of money. Inability to pay her bills. Scorn and doubt from family and friends. Ending up in another, un-enjoyable job. Loss of identity. Becoming dumb.

Face it, she told me, a lawyer’s job is to avoid risk.

She’s wrong. But unfortunately, she’s not alone.

Of course, nothing is guaranteed. And of course, there is “risk” of some kind inherent in anything we do. But these “risks” (whatever we may conjure up) can be managed, mitigated, planned for and, sometimes, actually avoided. I’m in the midst of writing a series for Above the Law about the Steps to Leave Law Behind, and I wanted to share all five steps with you today. Five time-intensive-but-manageable, build-on-each-other-to-grow-your-confidence, incremental, rewarding (baby) steps one can take to properly leave the law behind for a fulfilling professional (and personal) life.

• The First Step in Leaving Law Behind – The first step in properly leaving the law requires becoming as confident and exact as possible in understanding (i) your expenses and (ii) your safety net and other sources of financial support you can call upon if needed. One of the main obstacles lawyers face in leaving law behind is the risk of running out of money. By facing this fear from the outset, with detailed analysis and responsible planning, you can mitigate the anxiety that you’ll run out of money as you make this life change. (Read the full Above the Law Article here.)

• The Second Step – Before getting one’s resume ready or applying for jobs or networking, the second step often involves getting over law school. Or in other words . . . cutting your losses. Or to be more blunt: Move on. Stop living in the past. Stop thinking you need to eke out more of a return on your law school investment. Focus on the road ahead.

One of the main factors that keeps us attorneys (unhappily) practicing the law is the simple fact that we went to law school. Because we went to and graduated from law school and studied for and passed the bar and applied to and became licensed by the state bar, we often feel that we need to keep practicing to justify all of this past effort and expense. (Check out Above the Law in the next few days for a detailed article on this Second Step)

• The Third Step – This step focuses on identifying and monetizing your Unique Genius. Your Unique Genus is that skill or skills you are so good at, that come so naturally to you, that you are so passionate about and that are also in demand. It’s these skills upon which you can create a new, fun, dynamic and rewarding professional lifestyle for yourself.

This of course can be hard. Trying to find the answers to questions like “What did you want to be when you were eight years old?” or “What do you think your purpose in life is?” or “What is something you’d regret not doing when you are 80?” can often be difficult, and can have the adverse affect of only stressing you out, bumming you out or weighing you down.

Three questions that I like to focus on, that produce really tangible, straightforward, actionable answers are: “What are you already doing (or would you do) for free to help people?” – This points to what you enjoy. “For what type of advice do people come to you?” – This speaks to what comes naturally to you. “What do people compliment you on?” This points to your strengths.

• The Fourth Step – This step focuses on facing (and containing) the remaining fears of leaving law behind which are so hard to shake. Some of these we can get over . . . others may linger for a long time, even after we’ve “left” the law. Some fears to explore and get a handle on are:

If I leave the law, I’ll be different than all of my other lawyer friends
How will I make the money that I make now?
How can I possibly do something different than the law?
I will fail
Everyone will laugh at me
I’ll somehow get my bar licenses stripped away
I’ll not be able to say we’re lawyers anymore
I’ll have to find a new identity

• The Fifth Step – This step is all about building on the previous steps and learning how to “get out there” and network, meet with people, research what (legal and non-legal) jobs you might like (and not like), apply to jobs, find new opportunities, take that (acting/singing/writing/exercise, teaching) class you’ve been putting off, volunteer. When you take your time and “show up” in life, you’ll be amazed at what opportunities will present themselves.

Readers, what do you consider a risk that is preventing you from leaving the law? What help do you need to overcome this (supposed) risk?

Photo:  Jumpy House, San Francisco