I have to admit, I’m a little embarrassed writing this to you. I don’t often get “touchy feely” or think about my “soul” or “spirit” that much, so to sit down and put this note together for you is taking some effort.
As an attorney, I really only think in terms of the tangible, of the measurable, of what’s evident. I try to avoid, or at the very least, prepare my best, for the unknown, the risky. I have faith in logic, science, precedent, and the objective …
… oh man, who am I kidding? That sounded pretty good, didn’t it? I mean, I’m reading this now and it sounds authoritative!
But it’s not the whole picture of me.
I’m more than a negotiating/litigating/redlining/billing/rainmaking robot.
Ah, now I get it … I now know why I was compelled to write this note to you.
Something is missing. I feel something is missing. Something is off with me. But I don’t know who I can tell this to.
Sure, I can tell a few people in the office here, but the conversation usually devolves into us just complaining about bad clients, or the overwhelming workload, or the bonus figure we didn’t get, but of course deserved.
But I want to talk about more. I want to talk about the anxiety I feel in the pit of my body. I want to talk about how I don’t know how long I can always be “on” 24/7, responding to client emails and taking phone calls and rushing on weekends to redline and finish Word docs. I want to talk about, and need help with understanding, what is missing.
Hence this note to you.
I have prioritized money and security and recognition. These made me feel good for a while, or so I thought.
But I think what’s missing is I do not have that much meaning or purpose.
I want to find something I love to do and am good at and helps people.
But I’m so afraid. Oh, I’m afraid. How can I make money doing something I love? That’s absurd, right? Right?
I’ve been taught and trained for years to fear risk and to try and control the unknown. But I’m so afraid of the unknown. But the unknown is where I think I need to go. Oh, I’m scared …
Please, Soul or Spirit or whatever you are called … tell me it’s all going to be okay. Tell me it all is okay.
I’m sorry. I should have written this note sooner. Please be patient with me. Please write back.
Take a first step to connect with your soul by scheduling a free phone call with me, Casey.