I am not sure how it got this way. Between you and me. It didn’t need to get to this point, and I want to correct it.
I’m an unhappy attorney who is trying to leave the law for a non law job. I am trying to change my life for the better. Please can you and I start over too?
I have to admit, I have always felt that you didn’t want to be with me. There was always just enough of you in my life … but you never seemed to like being with me. It was as if you were forced to be with me. You didn’t flow to me … you were dragged to me. I wondered why we never had that much fun together.
And you never seemed to want to stay long with me. You have been fleeting and unreliable. It always felt like you were in a hurry to leave me. And so I then worried if you would ever come back.
But now you are an immovable weight to me. Law school debt. Bills to pay. I don’t feel like you support me … rather you have me captured.
I don’t want to have this type of relationship with you Money.
I know, I am to blame as well. I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere growing up I began to believe certain things about you:
– Money doesn’t grow on trees
– The rich are all greedy and bad
– Money always corrupts
– No pain, no gain
– Always better to give than to receive
– The love of money is the root of all evil
Those aren’t true, right? Ugh. Oh, I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?
I want to connect with you in a new way. I want us to flow together, to align together, to appreciate each other. I want to feel great receiving you. I want to feel guilt free when you come into my life. I want to know that I deserve the strength you provide.
I now understand Money that you are just an energy, a currency. You empower me (like air, food, water, rest) and give me the energy to do things (like think, have time, nourish myself, invest, donate, focus) to help others and provide value. And the more you empower me, the more I can meaningfully add value to others, and the more I add value to others, the more they will compensate me in money … the more of you I will get in return, so I can then … help others …
… I’m getting it now …
Money, I’m sorry. I’ve been thinking of you all wrong. I don’t want to view my law school debt as a weight. I want to view it as an investment I have made to get to where I am now, to attain the skills that I am good at now that I can use to transfer into a new job, role and career.
Now admittedly, that is gonna’ be hard to do, because I’ve been cursing my student debt for so many years, and as I leave the law for an alternative career, I am further depressed as to why I took you on in this way.
But these negative belief systems about you don’t serve me any longer. I now realize how I have been thinking about you DOES NOT SERVE ME WELL!
From now on Money, you are my friend. I’m no longer going to be afraid of you or confused about you. I’m going to do my best to just understand you.
I feel lighter just saying this.