This past weekend my family and I were in the north Boston area for a family event.
Our Saturday was wide open and free. My wife and daughter chose to go on a short road trip with some aunts and uncles to New Hampshire and Maine.
My 6-year-old son and I chose to spend the day at the nearby waterslide park!
Giant whirlpools, body and raft waterslides, a fast paced river tube ride, a basketball hoop in the pool, a water themed obstacle course, hamburgers and fries and ice cream … all cozily contained in a 65,000 square foot, 84 degree indoor biosphere.
It was a blast … so much so that we stayed too long and were late for the family event!
The value this place provides
But amidst all of the fun and noise and chasing and laughing, I did take a moment or two to slow down and be as mindful as I could and observe the scene.
The park’s website said that we would have a “splashtastic” day of “kidfriendly fun”.
That was correct. But I don’t think the owners of this park truly realize the value that their park provided us all:
- Dads and sons were able to bond and be together distraction-free and have fun
- The teenage lifeguards were able to make some side cash and be independent authority figure
- Young children were able to run around freely and safely away from their parents and learn and engage with other kids and on their own
- We were all able to disconnect from our cell phones and quiet our minds and enjoy the moment
- We were all able to run around and burn calories and move our muscles
- We were all able to be around and talk to and play with people of all ethnicities and races
- We were all able to stand under plentiful,
Sure, we want to leave the law.
But we have so much else to do …
- Our day job as a lawyer.
- Taking care of our kids.
- Paying our bills.
- Trying to stay in shape and eat healthy.
- Trying to have a social life.
- Getting sleep.
- And what seems like more and more work …
So while we want to leave the law, it can be difficult to find the time.
In this week’s video, I discuss some ideas and ways to stay motivated and incrementally build confidence and momentum.
Want to take the next step in leaving the law? Check out the new Leave Law Behind, self-paced online course.
Need some more support in leaving the law? Click here to learn more about the one to one Leave Law Behind coaching program.
When everything is going very well, it can be surprising to fall into a funk of doubt. But that’s what happened to me recently … and a friend of mine used my own writings to pull me out.
I was speaking with my team here at Leave Law Behind about the work we’ve recently completed: The free Video Mini-Class, the new Online Course, the Ultimate Coaching Program, the new videos we’re producing.
And we discussed all the things we have in store for the future: live events, new products, webinars …
And through all of this excitement, yup, I unfortunately let some cold-blooded doubt creep in.
I thought aloud about how daunting all of this could be. About how I could possibly get all of this done. About whether all of this work would actually help attorneys looking to leave the law. About whether I was the right person to do this.
I further reinforced this doubt with what I thought was some quite irrefutable evidence: I had tried my hand at entrepreneurship in the past, and I had achieved varying levels of success.
So … who was I to think I could really be entrepreneurial again … if I hadn’t been able to fully do it before?
We have so much that we want out of our professional career as a lawyer.
Stature. Security. Wealth. Social acceptance.
For so many of us, it was these needs that drove us in large part to apply to law school and then become a lawyer. We thought becoming an attorney would be the best way to attain them.
And as we leave the law, many of us still have these needs in mind when we consider any non-law job.
The irony is that even if we have attained these needs as a lawyer, we’re still not as happy as we want, and should, be.
I want to share with you in the below video an alternative need we can focus on … an authentic, well-aligned, and helpful need that we can now begin to prioritize as we change our life.
Some might even agree that pursuing this is part of the key to life …
Click the below player to watch the video.
I hope you enjoy it, and please leave your thoughts in the comments below or feel free to contact me directly.
Last week, I wrote a guest post for Above the Law’s Career Center, about why I went to law school.
It was a personal piece … about how I didn’t really think critically about going to law school, and how I’ve resolved lately that going to law school could have been a mistake.
And many of you have written me and asked whether I can do more videos, in addition to writing the weekly blog post. I love the idea! I’m going to do more videos, and I’ve decided to record my kick off video about this topic for the Leave Law Behind community.
Click the below player to watch the video (which I recorded from my home). I hope you enjoy it, and please leave your thoughts in the comments below or contact me directly.
Need more support in leaving the law? Check out the new Leave Law Behind self-paced, online course.
The hurdle so many of us run into when trying to leave the law is that all we have known ourselves to be in recent years is an unhappy, unfulfilled, not-the-best-but-not-the-worst lawyer.
What we in essence have been saying to ourselves is “Because I have been an unhappy lawyer, I still am an unhappy lawyer.”
“And I may always remain an unhappy lawyer.”
This logically doesn’t make sense
We know things change all the time. Nothing is set in stone.
So why are many of us so set in the stone of lawyer drudgery, non-mentoring partners, little professional training, stressful fiduciary duties, anxiety ridden deadlines, money issues, and overwhelming amounts of work?
Because we think our past has everything to do with our now … when in fact nothing could be further from the truth.
We cannot constantly focus our mind on all of the active, negative thoughts we have about our career as a law student and lawyer. Just because that is who we are now doesn’t mean we therefore still need to be that way, or still need to think that way or will always be that way. Continue Reading
What if I told you that 10 years from now, your life would be exactly the same? I doubt you’d be happy. So, why are you so afraid of change?
– Karen Salmansohn, Author
The fact is, many of us are totally miserable being lawyers and want to leave the law so badly … but we just don’t know how to.
Some of us are restricted by limiting beliefs that make us feel that our self worth is tied to being a lawyer …
Some of us are held back by our caring about the opinions of others, and not wanting to rock the boat or go against the grain …
Others of us feel we can’t afford to do so …
And some of us feel we cannot do anything else but be a lawyer … even if that means we remain an unhappy one …
… and many of us worry about our inability to leave the law and the possibility that we’ll continue to live a miserable life.
So we have 2 options:
It’s like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.
E.L Doctorow, American Novelist
One of the most frequently asked questions I get from Leave Law Behind readers is “What is my next step”?
Now, we’ve taken some steps to get to this point:
We have found the courage to admit to ourselves that we’re unhappy.
We have found the time to google search “unhappy attorney” or “JD alternatives” or any of the other terms that led you to this blog and others.
We have found the time to read and sometimes we’ll muster the honesty to email in and tell me your story or inquire about coaching or just to vent (I read every email).
And what we’re after is the next step. “Where do we go? What should we focus on? Where should we turn?”
A guiding light
Many of you have asked me to create an online course to help us all leave the law behind,
This past Saturday night my Golden State Warriors played a playoff basketball game against the Oklahoma City Thunder.
And I was a nervous wreck watching it, yelling at the TV when the Warriors messed up, pumping my fist when they scored … all the while in a burger restaurant with other people, my wife and my two kids.
And I felt I had good reason for my anxiety. The Warriors played inconsistently – leading in the first quarter, missing many shots in the second quarter, losing by 5 at halftime, committing bad turnovers, playing out of synch. It was hard to watch.
I was at my most nervous when the Warriors were losing 94-87 with only 5 minutes and 48 seconds left in the game. With the Thunder’s Steven Adams at the line for his second free throw, I clenched my fists and let out a muffled scream.
My 9 year old daughter finished her bite of burger, looked at me, and asked me “Daddy, is this fun for you?”
First off, it’s always hard to take when your children are smarter and more mindful than you are.
Our Unique Genius is something I like to write about a lot.
Our Unique Genius are those skills and strengths and enjoyment that come so naturally to us, so authentically to us, so easily to us that we don’t even think of them as a skill. We just do them.
Unique Genius is something I am always working on for myself. It’s something I am always talking with my coaching students about.
It’s something that is the crux of leaving the law: Instead of pursuing jobs and a career based on not-the-most-fulfilling reasons (money, status, title, security, what other people think is right), we can use our Unique Genius to help inform and identify a more authentic and aligned and happier career path and job search.
For me, throughout my life I have kind of had an idea of what I was good at (speaking, writing, interpersonality).
But, admittedly, I never had a firm grasp on what it was. I didn’t ever think that critically about it.
And that’s because I didn’t really need to think that much about it –