Rejection is protection

When considering to leave law behind, we’re going to try a lot of new things.  Once we build up the courage, we’re going to try and set up informational meetings, we will interview for other, exciting job opportunities, we’ll potentially partner with other solos to create our own firm.  There are a lot of new things we will try.

And there is a lot of rejection we will face.  Some people won’t want us.  They won’t want to accept us into their club, they won’t want us to be their partners, they won’t want us to participate in the profits, they will turn down our book idea, they will not visit our new website, they won’t refer work to us, they won’t think our new consulting firm will add value.  They will reject us.

And it hurts.  It can be crushing.  And unfortunately, there is no way to avoid it.

But fortunately, there is no way to avoid it.  Rejection is an essential piece to our success.  It protects us from areas we shouldn’t pursue, reveals to us other paths, highlights what we could have done better to prepare and shows us what other opportunities are out there we may not have known about.

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Today is the tomorrow you feared yesterday

It’s Wednesday.  We’ve made it.  Remember that anxiety and nervousness we may have felt on Sunday evening about what we had to do, what we had to face, what we had to get through on Monday and Tuesday?  It’s Wednesday and we’re still around, so we must have done something right.  And likely what caused those big fears in our gut on Sunday (and Monday) turned out to not be that bad.  In fact the meeting or phone call or document or presentation or news we feared probably turned out okay (or even fairly well) or taught us something important or made us better or just wasn’t a big deal.

In order to leave law behind it’s very important to realize what strengths, skills and experiences we possess today.  Not what we had in the past (that we can learn from) or what we want in the future (that we can create).  We are often so concerned with what we have not accomplished so far or what we need to get done next, that we do not see that many of our previous wishes and goals have already been granted and achieved.

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Create more, consume less

Consumption of information can be fun, educational and motivating.  We read blogs like this one, view videos, listen to music.  This passes the time, provides entertainment, stems boredom and enhances ourselves.

One thing consumption is not . . . is creative.  Creation occurs when we put our mind to work to produce something, to produce something for ourselves to reflect on . . . or for others to consume (and possibly buy or share or promote).  As such, a major tenet of leaving law behind is to consistently promote our own creation.  In other words, we can’t leave law behind, fully or partially, without create something else to focus on, something else to market, something else to monetize.

What you create is up to you – new ideas, brainstorming sessions, now job possibilities, unique career paths, hobbies, random thoughts, actual pieces of writing, business plans, forecasts, side businesses, new ventures.  This creation comes about through many forms of activities, and many are simple and almost without cost – staring out the window, going for a walk, talking with a friend, uninterrupted, sincere thinking, consistent jotting down of ideas, planned productive story/blog writing.

There is one cost:  In order to create,

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Come Join Me in Person on Monday February 6th at 6pm to Discuss “Should You Really Be A Lawyer?”

This coming Monday, February 6th at 6pm Pacific at the Book Passage at San Francisco’s Ferry Building, please join me as I interview Deborah Schneider, Esq., co-author of Should You Really Be A Lawyer? The Guide to Smart Career Choices Before, During and After Law School (click here to buy the book on Amazon).

If you are, or know of, a prospective law student, a current law student or a lawyer who’s wondering (a) if they should become, or remain, a lawyer and (b) what they should do with their life, this event shouldn’t be missed.

We’ll discuss how aspiring and practicing lawyers can learn to make better career choices that will lead them to work they love, and answer your most vexing career questions.  Whether you’re thinking about law school, currently in law school or practicing law, this program will help bring clarity to any current career confusion.

Once again, the event is scheduled for Monday February 6 at 6pm at the Book Passage at the San Francisco Ferry Building, where Market Street meets the Embarcadero (map).

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How giving thanks helps us leave the law

Leave Law Behind is back, after a bit of an extended holiday.  When we last spoke in the Fall, we heard a lot about “giving thanks”.  Blogs, books, social networks, the media – there were reminders, advice and lists of how to be more thankful, more appreciated, more self-aware of what we have.  This of course is appropriate for Thanksgiving time.

And this is appropriate throughout the rest of the year.  Throughout the rest of our day-to-day lives.  And it’s essential if you want to leave law behind.

Now, let’s be real – it can be difficult to be thankful and full of appreciation.  Even in our relatively privileged lives, the forces around us are replete with examples of what we don’t have yet, of what we are not yet, of what we have yet to accomplish.  This makes it very easy to focus on the gaps we have:  It’s easy to dwell on the fact that we haven’t yet made equity partner . . . and not beam with pride that we are a long way from that nervous, law school graduate we once were years ago.

And giving thanks is not just a fluffy,

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Why failing is a sure sign you’re doing the right thing

There is no doubt about it, when we leave the law, we mess something up.  A lot of stuff.  We miss the boat on some things.  We are too early with others.  We will never understand how this-and-that works.  We’ll feel that we are becoming short on cash.  We’ll suffer from self-doubt.  People we admire and love may think we’re crazy.  We will miss the structure and stature of the firm life.

We won’t be perfect.

But no one is.  We weren’t when we began the law, and we definitely are not now, especially when branching out into a world of the unknown . . . and full of potential.  And you don’t need to be perfect or wholly ready to leave the law.  You just need to be honest (with yourself) and courageous (to take a babystep).

Leaving the law behind is a messy and anxious and unnerving act.  It’s also thrilling and relieving and eye-opening.  Let’s not let our consistent need for perfection and validation get in the way of creating our path to happiness and self-worth.

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Why it’s good to remember that it’s not all about Fame, Fortune and Power

It can be very difficult to escape the fact that our society ranks an individual’s success almost exclusively on the basis of fame, fortune or power.  The more you have, the more successful you are.

You don’t need to look far to see how this is reinforced time and time again.  It could be the recent Super Lawyer rankings.  It could be that profile you read of the guy who was #7 at Facebook or #4 at Mint or #12 at Google.  It could have been the Vanity Fair New Establishment list.    It could be the recent eulogy of the maverick football owner or brilliant tech visionary.

Making money and gaining influence are great things.  But as we focus exclusively on fortune, fame and power, something always has to give (and this is usually our time, our health, our relationships, our happiness.)

As we leave the law behind, or leave our current practice of the law behind, we are provided with a great opportunity to find the time and space to land on other lists:  Top Parent, Top Spouse, Top Friend, Best at Just Chillin’,

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Why all you really need is a good compliment

We work for money.  We need to pay our bills and support our families and live the good life we strive for.

We also work to be recognized.  We have spent a lot of time and effort becoming a lawyer, and while a salary is a good reflection of our worth, a kind word goes a long way as well.  It just feels really good when you are recognized.

A lot of our unhappiness comes from simply not being appreciated.  At the highest levels, this manifests itself in being passed over for partnership or required to take a reduced (or stick with an un-changed) salary.  More day-to-day, this unhappiness and reduced confidence is often marked by silence, specifically the lack of unprompted feedback from clients, colleagues and associates.  Sometimes you wonder How the hell am I doing? Sometimes you just want someone to say Real nice job, I love how you handled that.

Of course, the appreciation will come.  And do not lament the dearth of compliments now; just know that the gratitude is likely there . . . and the public recognition is right around the corner, from someone important,

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Why realizing law school wasn’t really for us might be the best thing we can do

Before we even think of leaving the law, let’s first try to get a handle on a fundamental question: Why did I go to law school?

With the cushion of hindsight, let’s take some time and critically think about this. We need to ask ourselves, as well as our friends and family (who were around us when we made the decision to attend law school) what was our mind set, what reasons did we put forward, what pros/cons did we list? As much as it may hurt, we need some honest answers and recollections, from ourselves and our loved ones, as to what our mindset was at that time. More specifically, we need to determine whether we critically thought through this big decision or, rather, did we just go to law school because we had nothing better to do/we didn’t want to find a job/we admired lawyers/we thought we’d make a lot of money.

The goal here is not to get down on ourselves, but rather to identify whether law school itself, or the “beaten path” of OCI, the firm life, making partner, etc, is really something for us. If our reasons for going to law school were not that strong,

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Why you might just need to change your plans

Many of us who consider leaving the law feel that we may have lost our way.  We feel like we’re just in a weird stage.  We often look around and wonder if this is it.  We don’t think we’re as cool any longer.  We wonder if we’re doing the right thing.

To take this further, some of us now think that our window of time may be expiring.  That the clock of our final countdown is ticking fast.  It could be a particular birthday on the horizon.  It could be falling short in a recent comparison with our (ostensibly) successful friends.  It could be just this general, vague, foggy feeling that we’re not living up to what we thought we would accomplish.

If we’re not a partner yet, we think we should have been made partner by now.  If we’re not an equity partner yet, we think we should have been made equity partner by now.  If we are an equity partner . . . we wonder why we are still unhappy.

This problem will persist so long as we continue to stick to outdated, unrelated plans.  Many unhappy attorneys judge their success based on what their friends think is success or what their family thinks is success or on what they themselves thought success should be .

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